The Southwest Voice

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I am not gifted. Face it, 90 percent of us aren’t. I have, however, experienced great fortune and success in my life. One of the reasons I may be successful is that as a child I was never told that I was smart. I experienced success as a child and my parents loved me dearly, but “You’re so smart” and “Brilliant!” never came out of my parents’ mouths. Instead, they said things like, “Good work,” “Try harder,” “More effort and you’ll get it.”

Psychologically there may be a reason for my success and the lack of someone urging me on with statements of my intelligence. Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck does research on motivation, personality, development and, short of summarizing her studies, finds it just may be detrimental for children to be told they are smart. My understanding is that Dweck finds children who grow up believing they are inherently bright sometimes fear taking risks and trying new things because they might find they are not brilliant at them at first and quit the effort before going any further. Dweck calls this a fixed intelligence.

Contrarily, people with growth intelligence believe they can learn and eventually excel in things they take on. This is where the concept of work ethic and practice-makes-perfect comes in. A child told that success comes through effort just may find more of it.

The ironic angle of all this is, according to a survey conducted by Columbia University, 85 percent of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart. In essence, and I’m at fault here too, our kids are better off being encouraged to work than being encouraged that they are naturally bright.

I’m sure you readers have brilliant children, but you might just think about keeping that to yourself and encouraging them to try a bit harder and trust their luck. I am reminded of Thomas Jefferson’s statement, “I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”

— Peggy Dewane-Pope is an eighth-grade teacher at tonecreek Junior High School in the Panama-Buena Vista Union School District. To learn more, read: “Self-theories: Their Role in Motivation, Personality, and Development (Essays in Social Psychology)” by Carol Dweck.

Luck is not a consequence of hard work. I wish we could have heard Jefferson actually say the words to hear the intention behind them, which I choose to take as a tongue-in-cheek knock on relying on luck alone.My children are both smarter than their age would indicate and I do (proudly) tell them that. It's not as much praise as it is accountability, although praise is definitely a part of it. They are smart enough to KNOW that they are smart without me telling them. They know, because of conversations we have had about it, that they need to use that head start they've been given to excel even further. If I don't acknowledge that they are smart, they might just skate by in mediocrity, knowing they don't have to try as hard as everyone else. It also is a reminder on days when they don't feel as successful as other days. "Hey, son, you're a smart kid. You'll figure this out."

Everyone is gifted. "Smart" is knowing how to use your gifts. A teacher throwing out a statement like "90% of us are not gifted" could have a much more detrimental effect on a child than discussing the merits of "smarts."

It's a bad habit to get into, to start keeping your opinion of your children from them. Where should we draw the line. Maybe we shouldn't tell our children we love them for the same reason? Maybe we shouldn't point out their poor choices because we don't want to hurt their feelings? How many truths should we withhold?

To assume the possibility that my children might be a part of the mythical ungifted 90% and then to treat them that way would be extremely condescending and borderline irresponsible parenting.I'm all for seeking out the best child-rearing practices to give them the best chance to succeed, but I can't give any credit to the suggestions of this study as being good parenting methods.