Don’t tell a child, “You’re smart!”
Don’t tell a child, “You’re smart!”
By: Peggy Dewane-Pope
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Posted by peggybak Tue Nov 30, 1999 00:00:00 PST
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I am not gifted. Face it; 90 percent of us aren’t. I have however, experienced great fortune and success in my life. One of the reasons I may be successful is that I was never told as a child that I was smart. I experienced success as a child and my parents loved me dearly but, “You’re so smart,” and “Brilliant!” never came out of my parent’s mouths. Instead, they said things like, “Good work,” “Try harder,” “More effort and you’ll get it.”
Psychologically there may be a reason for my success and the lack of someone urging me on with statements of my intelligence. Stanford Psychologist Carol Dweck does research on motivation, personality, and development and short of summarizing her studies, finds it just may be detrimental for children to be told they are smart. My understanding is that Dweck finds that children who grow up believing they are inherently bright sometimes fear taking risks and trying new things because they might find they are not brilliant at them at first and quit the effort before going any further. Dweck calls this a fixed intelligence.
Contrarily, people with growth intelligence believe that they can learn and eventually excel in things they take on. This is where the concept of work ethic and practice makes perfect comes in. A child told that success comes through effort just may find more of it.
The ironic angle of all this is according to a survey conducted by Columbia University, 85 percent of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart. In essence, and I’m at fault here too, our kids are better off being encouraged to work than being encouraged that they are naturally bright.
I’m sure you readers have brilliant children but you might just think about keeping that to yourself and encouraging them to try a bit harder and trust their luck. I am reminded of Thomas Jefferson’s statement, “I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
Peggy Dewane-Pope is an eighth grade teacher at Stonecreek Junior High School in the Panama-Buena Vista Union School District. Learn more in Self-theories: Their Role in Motivation, Personality, and Development (Essays in Social Psychology)by Carol Dweck.
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