The Southwest Voice

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Caution: You can gain 5 pounds by just reading this recipe.

If you are practicing one of the few thousand diets available to the general public, tuck this away for the day when your will power has been stabbed with your sharpest knife and “accidentally” stuffed down the garbage disposal. Also, it might be wise to have a cardiologist on speed dial. If you happen to be a cardiologist, grab the oxygen — because this is macaroni and cheese Bryan style! When Catholics couldn’t eat meat on Fridays, mac and cheese was a mainstay at the dinner table. This mac and cheese made hard-shell Baptists knot their apron strings into rosaries and secretly think that Catholics were on to a good thing.

• 12 to 16 ounces macaroni, cooked and drained
• 1/2 pound bacon, diced
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 stick butter
• 1/2 cup flour
• 3 cups whole milk or
    half and half
• 1 pound sharp cheddar
    cheese, grated
• 1 can Rotel

Using 12 ounces of macaroni will be creamier and 16 ounces will be dryer. Your choice. As always, before you begin, pour a nice, healthy glass of dark ruby Cabernet. In a large saucepan, fry up the bacon until crisp, then remove with a slotted spoon. Toss the onion into the grease and saute until limp. Remove with a slotted spoon. Melt butter with remaining grease and dump in the flour. Cook and stir for a minute, until thickened (try for “oatmealish” in texture). Add milk. Cook and stir until thickened (about five minutes of wine sipping should do it). Toss in the cheese, Rotel, bacon and onion. Stir until smooth and creamy. Mix with macaroni and dump the whole thing into a greased 9- by 13- by 2-inch baking dish. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes to an hour. Let it rest for 10 minutes before digging in as it will be very tired after all that baking.

Some may want a crusty topping. Saute some bread crumbs in butter, then mix in grated parmesan and pecan meal (if you have it). Spread on during last 20 minutes of baking. Heats nicely in the microwave.

If you are totally set on dying healthy, experiment with light cheeses, turkey bacon, heart-smart stuff, low-fat milk and whole grain pasta. Sorry — I can’t make it for dinner that night (unless you’re having a martini hour before dinner).

And what is Rotel? It’s a can of diced tomatoes and green chilis found in all supermarkets — either with the canned tomato products or in the Mexican food section. Dump it in soups, stews or beans. Drain and toss in green salads, potato or macaroni salads, or use in sandwiches or as a pizza topping.

Now go dust off the Richard Simmons DVD and lose the pounds you gained from reading this. If you tried the recipe, there’s probably a sale on elastic-waist jeans at Wal-Mart. Next time — something healthy!