The Bakersfield Voice

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About 12 days into Christmas vacation I finally was able to put my feet up and pull out a great novel. Suddenly — like a wind storm — Jan. 7 arrived forcing our family back to scheduled days. Christmas holidays are only a teaser for long, relaxed summer days with plenty of time to read and daydream. It is a time when schedules are thrown out the window and life is able to ebb and flow at a pace that allows for work and play. Two days of relaxing after holiday celebrations didn’t fill up my cup. I wish I felt more enthusiastic about venturing into the second semester.

As a family that chooses to do school at home we convince ourselves that we have a handle on this time thing. I read a book years ago that discussed building a margin into your lives — a time margin. My “relaxed” family schedule includes 25 places to be at specific times every week. It is not uncommon for me to miss one of those events. When I tell the child who missed a music lesson he or she reminds me that I still made 24 out of 25 events. I think that counts as an A!

Soccer, football, basketball, tennis, track, music lessons and book day are a few of our chosen activities. I see great value in each of these ventures. What kind of life have we designed? The American tendency to fill our days with activities ramrods most families. As the new year begins I think it is a great time to take activity inventory. With four kids, how much involvement can our family handle? Do I have time scheduled in for the unplanned? Is activity dominating learning? These are my January thoughts. Being overly busy can actually rob us as we become moving observers instead of participants in the process called life.

Narrowing activities is difficult at best, but I have a few methods that have been helpful through the years. When my kids were very young I avoided all organized sports unless it was a very short-term introduction. You can introduce most of these activities to your children yourself at the park. When my oldest daughter Gabrielle turned 10 she joined her first AYSO team and we finally became a soccer family. The amazing thing is she missed nothing those years we held off and our family had free Saturdays and dinner together instead of evening practice. Today she is playing soccer for Bakersfield High School. Our aggressive, be-the-best culture bullies us into early activity in order to grab a potential college scholarship — when our little ones are only 6 years old. Each activity has a cost for the entire family, and the cost is more than financial — it’s precious time.

In a contrary situation, my son began baseball at 7 with the highlight of his career during fifth grade. After a very competitive sixth grade season he was finished. His team won the championship, yet he had a sour taste in his mouth for the sport. As kids develop physically and mentally they begin to lean into more specific directions of interest. My responsibility is to give them options and introduce many interests rather than limit their scope at an early age. Our family balances sports, music, art and drama. Even with two highschoolers and two young children at home, we make a goal of having dinner as a family three to four nights a week.

Today I will take a hard look at our calendar and make some tough choices for our winter/spring schedule. All the while I will continue the mantra, “Time is precious.”