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The ever-reaching arm of the molester
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Posted by conniem Tue Jun 12, 2007 15:10:31 PDT
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Molestation doesn’t just happen to someone’s body, it also assaults the mind.  Molesters are predators that damage young people’s minds and bodies several ways.  One of the questions always asked to students reporting molestation is “did that adult know what they were doing was wrong?”  The answer is sadly always yes.  This always takes the blame off of the child who has been wronged.

 

Molestation is a confusing issue for a child.  First of all does a child really know what is happening to them?  Once they realize what has happened, years have transpired and hence the confusion continues.  At the time, the brain is screaming, this is wrong, this is sick, but the body might react differently.  They body doesn’t understand that is not a welcome touch and the body might react in a pleasurable way. Then, the wires of the brain and body get crossed because the brain is fighting with the body and hence the confusion.  He/she blames himself and thinks it is their fault and really just pushes everything down into his/her soul and doesn’t deal with it. 

 

This is typical behavior; children do not tell because they do not really understand what is happening to them.  Usually they are molested by someone they know, love and/or trust.  The molesters are in positions of power over them, whether parental, clerical or in cases of coaches or teachers.  All molesters abuse their authority over children and hurt them in sexual ways.

 

Molestation usually doesn’t happen in an instant.  The molester forms a relationship with that child and slowly breaks down their defenses, a trust if formed.  Pornography or subtle touching is introduced so when the molester is ready to pounce, the child is not shocked because they have been groomed for this moment.  The “secret” relationship is created and the molester usually threatens the child with hurting his/her family members to avoid exposure.  He/she may not understand what molestation is; but a child vividly understands when someone threatens to hurt his/her family member!

 

The child is torn/stuck in a sick cycle and doesn’t know how to get out of it.  My experience is that they do not tell. Some days it just comes up like bile and the person keeps pushing it down until one day it just erupts and they have to deal with it because their marriage is failing or something  catastrophic has happened in their life.  In class, it is very obvious when a child remembers an event, he/she will run out of the class crying or just sit there and break down emotionally. 

 

Let’s face facts, young men are usually molested by older men.  What kind of mental torture is that for a boy?  Not only is he dealing with the molestation but also the fact that now he thinks he is a homosexual because some perverted man has touched his body parts.  Let’s never forget these men are usually trusted individuals in his life.  When someone abuses their power/authority and hurts a child sexually, that is evil behavior.  

 

When a woman molests a young boy, we tend to think that he enjoyed it.  I think not.  A woman should be prosecuted as harshly as a male molester/rapist.  Young boys are victims and the molester makes them feel mentally small and torture their minds with promises of love, etc. 

 

Young girls report molestations and rapes by family members and are not believed.  She has to go through drastic measures to be heard.  Sometimes, molesters are people in the community who are very well respected.  He’s such a great guy, nobody would believe her, and sometimes it is her Mom’s new husband/boyfriend.  She also is victimized over and over.  I challenge you to give them an ear. 

 

A few years ago, I was on a jury selection panel for a child molestation case.  When the attorney questioned me regarding my occupation, I stated I was on the front lines, I had to report cases of molestation several times during the school year.  The defense attorney tried to get me excused based on the fact that he thought I was prejudiced/biased against his client.  He didn’t want to use an exemption.  He asked me if I was prejudiced against his client, I stated no but I was biased against that type of behavior. Hence, I was not selected for the jury.  He has to use an exemption, I was relieved.

 

(Information on signs of sexual abuse  www.way2hope.org)

 

 

 

 

 

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