The Southwest Voice

First of all, family vacation is a time for the family to reconnect. Our lives are busy, and when we are able to get away it should be a time for the family to find some refuge from the busyness of everyday appointments and sports activities and just relax.

Even when friends of the same gender are brought along, I have noticed that the friend and the son/daughter separate themselves from the rest of the family and there is hardly any interaction even with the other brothers and sisters. I did that once. Then I said, never again, if one was able to bring a friend, all of them brought a friend, then the next time we went on vacation, no friends were allowed. 

But to bring a boy/girlfriend of your teenager along –– I am disturbed by that on so many levels. First of all, it is an implied acceptance of a very shallow and temporary relationship. You are encouraging relationships that should be discouraged at junior/high school levels.

Secondly, there is too much unaccounted time. Intimacy in overnight situations is far too accessible. Can you really watch them 24 hours? You are actually setting them up for failure; good kids given enough opportunity will do something they didn’t plan on. Maybe you are putting pressure on your son/daughter to have a relationship they are not comfortable with. They may not be able to set those boundaries; that is your responsibility. 

What happens if the kids fight or get in trouble? You put yourself in a situation that is getting out of control. Your liability for someone else’s child is compounded when it is disrupting the family vacation and you can’t send them home early. That doesn't sound very relaxing to me.   

Since I have stated I wouldn’t bring boy/girlfriends on family vacations, I must confess, I did invite an ex-boyfriend of my daughter’s to come to Alaska with us to go moose hunting.    We have a tradition –– wink, wink. On opening day of hunting season the new guy is appointed to run around the woods with antlers on his head. He didn’t fall for it. Thankfully, he fell for someone else. My daughter has a new boyfriend, and we can’t wait to tell him about the family tradition! Wink, wink!