The Southwest Voice

Hair: He might look in the mirror and think, "I’m turning into a Chia pet, hair growing everywhere." Sometimes he gets that little shadow on his lip and thinks "Dude, I'm a man, I have a mustache." No honey, that’s peach fuzz. When he starts shaving, he will have to shave every day. Recently, I had a student in the eighth-grade who I nicknamed "caveman" because he looked like a full-grown man. But we have to remember that even if he looks older, he’s still growing into himself.

Risk-taking: We have a deck that overlooks our pool. Every single male of every age looks at that deck and says the same thing: "When you’re not looking I’m going to jump into the pool." And they do. I remember my brothers jumping off the roof into the snow bank. Risk-taking usually just results in higher car insurance rates. But I tell boys to file those crazy ideas away in their crazy idea file, because someone can get hurt.

Body odor: This is not a myth. A P.E. teacher I work with goes out and buys air fresheners every time I teach boys in his class. If it is after lunch, I have to have the “please wear deodorant" talk. Last year I taught 80 boys in the boys P.E. changing room and was scarred for life. There seemed to be a green haze emanating from their armpits and shoes. (Not to mention the other strange odors.) They need to make themselves pleasant so people will want to be around them. This means shower and deodorize. And a little cologne goes a long way. (Did I mention brush your teeth?)

Height: If you look at any junior high school, you will find 11- to 15-year-olds. This age range makes a huge difference in a young man. They hit their growth spurts at different times and will grow until they are around 20. When they hit their growth spurts, arms, legs, feet, noses and ears seem like they are the only thing growing. 

A boy told me recently his mom was 4’9” and he was about 5’10” in the seventh grade. The first thing I told him was to always respect his momma no matter how little she was.

Feelings: His feelings will vacillate during the period of adolescence. He might feel cocky one day and the next day feel uncomfortable in his own skin. He will go through a period of time when he naturally disrespects women. You need to teach your son and prepare him for these feelings.   

His sexual feelings/ desire will intensify. I had a boy in class one time that said he wanted to take a pill and make it go away. I said, “No you don’t.” He was so uncomfortable with all the new feelings. If he has insecure feelings about the physical/emotional changes, you should prepare him for  what will happen to him so he will understand and not be frightened. 

Surviving: I know there is pressure on boys to be the best, get all the girls, and talk dirty. But he needs your help to guide him through this process gracefully.