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Let's Laugh: Can you compete with Angelina Jolie?

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Let's Laugh: Can you compete with Angelina Jolie?
By: Caroline Reid

Topics: Humor
Posted by creid Tue Feb 13, 2007 10:59:33 PST
Viewed 219 times
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I lounged in my comfy chair watching the Golden Globes. I wore my orange $7.99 T-shirt from Target over worn out brown sweat pants. 


This would be in contrast to the “dove gray strapless organza gown” that Mrs. Brad Pitt wore as she pouted her way down the red carpet. 


She didn’t smile as much as I would if I could go places with Brad Pitt! 

 

Everyone who appeared on camera probably spent 14 hours in hair, makeup and wardrobe before the show. I spent five minutes in the bathroom brushing my hair and holding the skin back from my jaw to see what I would look like with a facelift. I wasn’t sure if the pain would be worth it, so I plopped down on the sofa to watch the parade of beautiful people.   

 

It amazes me that people know more about some actors than they do about George Washington, Lewis and Clark, Christopher Columbus or their own mother! They know the plots of more movies than they do about the lives of Poe, Michelangelo, Bach or Gandhi. 


This is not to be critical. We should all learn as much as we can about what we are really interested in. If it’s movie stars, hey, go for it! 

 

All of us like to know something about someone famous! It comes in handy when we want to make small talk. We can quickly run through “Birthdays Today” in the newspaper and find out how old various actors are.

Not that anyone cares, but I do happen to know that one very famous movie star and I are exactly the same age. I used to be proud of that fact until I told my daughter and some of her friends. They got the deer in the headlights look and then laughed, loud and long! Well, for pity sake, I don’t go to hair and makeup and haven’t had all that many personal trainers and certainly haven’t gone under the knife, so there! 

 

For the Oscars, I’ll wear my old black satin party pants and a sparkly white shirt with fitted waist. I bought it at a discount store one year because it was such a good buy! I have never worn it! Maybe I’ll feel dressed for the occasion and not so jealous of those beautiful people! I suppose I should smear on a little lip gloss too. I refuse to wear false eyelashes! It would be just my luck to go to sleep and have them fall out on the sofa. I would wake up and think they were spiders. The commotion from that would wake the dead. Not only that, I would have totally messed up my makeup and drooled on my sparkly white blouse! 

About now, Brad Pitt would be thanking his lucky stars that I don’t go places with him. Not that he has ever asked –– or ever will! 

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