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Parenting with Connie: Raising thankful children in a gimme-gimme world
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Anonymous user Tue Nov 30, 1999 00:00:00 PST
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0 responses 0 comments Since Christmas passed a few days ago, has your child stopped playing with the Christmas gift he or she just had to have and is making forts out of the boxes instead? 
How many times have we spent so much time for that one gift –– calling multiple stores and waiting on hold for hours –– then about 10 days later the gift has lost its luster? 
I think we have to teach our children to value the person –– regardless of the gift. They need to thank the person for the gift. The person took time to think about what to buy, purchased the gift and then wrapped and sent the gift. The person’s time and thoughtfulness –– not the gift itself –– becomes an expression of love.
While my children were growing up,  I made them write thank you notes to their relatives for gifts. The notes that I have received from my nieces and nephews are tucked away in my planner, and I look at them from time to time. First they were pictures, and now they are written notes in which grammar and penmanship have changed from year to year.
How are we teaching our kids to share? Most of us are fond of the scene in “Finding Nemo” where Marlin and Dory are on the dock and all the seagulls are gathered around saying, “Mine, mine, mine.”
If you have kids, you live that scene daily.  When sharing, children learn to think of others before themselves. Selfishness is natural; sharing is learned behavior. Have them clean out their toy box or closet and donate items. Walk them through the process of giving to avoid them always being on the receiving end. 
Did your child hand you a Christmas list this year? If that was the case, then they are learning to expect instead of learning to be grateful. Expectations turn to disappointment, and then Christmas becomes about getting what they want — and they haven’t learned to be gracious.
One of my children handed me computer printout Christmas list with $150 jeans, and I just laughed and said, “I’ll get right on that.”
My child surely doesn’t remember when my husband I stood outside Pic ‘N’ Save at 5:30 a.m. to get two $5 vouchers to buy stocking stuffers for our three little ones. 
Ultimately, we want our children to be thankful for what we have provided. I think that a content heart is the key.
My brother and I say we are  “in” the Christmas spirit this year; we aren’t just going to get “through” the season.
My husband’s family asked us to forego gifts and send that amount to a relative who just lost their job. We agreed. 
One of the most memorable Christmases was a year when my parents sent my profoundly deaf sister to a speech school in Jackson, Miss. Our city,  Anchorage,  Alaska, didn’t have a facility to teach my sister how to speak. My parents wanted her to speak and read lips along with knowing sign language.
That year, my parents couldn’t afford to bring her home, so we gave up our Christmas presents, and I think there were five kids at the time. What I remember most about that Christmas was not the fact that we didn’t have presents, I remember my little sister saying “Mom” for the first time. 
I hope you were in the Christmas spirit this year. I didn’t ask for anything but for my precious family to be together, for that I am truly grateful. I hope you find the wonder of Christmas today and throughout the year, whether in a gift or a spoken word.  
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone. 

E-mail Connie at:
cmoustakis@bak.rr.com

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