The Southwest Voice

All > News
Let's Laugh: What am I putting on my English muffin?
Topics: Humor
Posted by creid Wed Nov 15, 2006 09:51:27 PST
Viewed 204 times
0 responses 0 comments Have you ever, on a cool November morning, put sugar-free raspberry preserves on your toasted English muffin? And even better, enjoyed it with a cup of hot, steamy coffee? 

For some reason, to me it tastes more like the fresh fruit I was raised on in Oregon than jams or jellies made with sugar. I don’t know why. Heaven knows my mother dumped loads of real sugar in the jams she made! 

The same outfit that advertises in a TV commercial, “With a name like this, it has to be good,” makes the sugar-free version I like. As I smeared my English muffin with this yummy stuff one lazy Saturday morning, I decided to find out what’s in it that makes it taste so “homemade.”

I read the entire label.The ingredients were listed in this order: Water, red raspberries, polydextrose, maltodextrin, fruit pectin, locust bean gum, natural flavor, citric acid, potassium sorbate (preservative), sucrose (non-nutritive sweetener), calcium chloride, Red 40 and Blue 1.

Good grief! What am I putting on my English muffin? It sounds like it could be an alternative fuel! I think I’ll call Bill Clinton and give him a heads up! He can work on it between now and the next election.  

I did my research. According to Google, “The locust bean has been known for its thickening properties since ancient times. The Egyptians used locust bean paste to glue the bandages onto mummies.” (Yikes!  I am eating this stuff!) Further, Google stated, “It was early in the 20th century that Locust Bean Gum became an industrial product. It comes from the seeds of Ceratonia siliqua. The Ceratonia siliqua is the European carob tree. It has been cultivated since antiquity in the Mediterranean basin.” 

There is a fairly long description of the whole thing on Google and it is kind of interesting if you can’t think of anything better to do than Google Locust Bean Gum.

In spite of the fact that Blue 1 has carcinogen properties, I intend to enjoy my English muffin with sugar-free red raspberry preserves. It reminds me of my childhood when on Saturday mornings in the summer I would bounce down the long farm house staircase on my rear end and smell raspberry jam.  I can still see my mother standing over the wood stove with a bandanna around her hair, her face shiny with sweat, steamy raspberry juice boiling in a huge pot and homemade bread baking in the oven. 

She’d look at me and say, “Want a piece of hot bread and warm raspberry jam?” If a famous celebrity could make cologne that smelled like that (and put it in a pretty bottle) I’d ask for it for Christmas!

All I saw around my mother were empty berry stained boxes, pint jars and paraffin used to seal the top of the thick, sweet jam before she put lids on the jars. I didn’t see all those other things. Certainly there was no Locust Bean Gum in the vicinity. But if it takes Locust Bean Gum to taste like mom’s raspberry jam, I really don’t mind. 

Red 40 is a coloring agent and if you want you can get the chemical formula from Google. I do know that with fresh, red raspberries picked two hours before the jam was made, a coloring agent was not needed!

I imagine you’d have to eat a mighty lot of sugar-free jam in one sitting for 365 days in a row for the carcinogen effects of Blue 1 to kick in.  Everyone feels differently about these things so you’re on your own if you decide to try sugar-free red raspberry preserves containing Blue 1. Blue 1 is also used in many hair-coloring products so it serves some kind of a purpose there, too. Consuming it and/or using it to hide the gray has to be a personal decision!

Try making homemade bread sometime. If you do, call me. I am not my mother’s daughter when it comes to cooking the old fashioned way! I’ll bring the “tastes just like homemade” jam. You bake the bread! 

Send to a Friend

Report a Violation