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From the Chalkboard: Dealing with bullies
By: Dick Ferris
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Anonymous user
Thu Oct 26, 2006 15:37:39 PDT
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The recent high school gang beating of a Bakersfield girl is certainly good evidence that school bullying has reached a new level. Although bullying is nothing new, it appears that there is no limit to the extent children will go to abuse a classmate.
There are some who downplay such incidents, saying it’s no big deal, it happens all the time. While others have engaged in such behavior, it should not be a justification. Regrettably, much damage is done to victim and perpetrator alike.
Being the youngest and shortest student in my grade level at Jefferson Elementary School, I was an easy target for bullies. I was not a fighter, so I had to develop other ways to cope with my situation, such as avoiding a bully or trying to befriend one ensure my safety.
It is evident from recent surveys that many students do not feel safe at school. Despite its prevalence, bullying is easily overlooked. It is usually covert, and both victims and witnesses are coerced into silence.
Educators are busy with academics, as well they should be. But educators are failing in their most fundamental obligation to ensure every student's safety when they don't deal appropriately with these sorts of activities.
It should be self-evident that students who have reason to fear for their safety experience a very different learning environment than kids who feel protected. I can remember sitting in an elementary class making plans to avoid any contact with a certain bully in the fifth grade. As the room-appointed safety monitor, I was responsible to guard the drinking fountains after the bell rang. My worst fears were realized when my chief antagonist, Mike, took a drink and I wrote his name in my little book. He observed this, grabbed the book and tore out the sheet and punched me. That, too, was written in my safety book. It was hopeless. I was glad when my playground leadership tour of duty was completed.
Today, bullying has escalated. Consequently, in many classrooms, kids sit with knots of fear because bullies are making their lives miserable. Even kids not directly assaulted or threatened are victimized because they might be next.
Bullying is a problem that affects many kids at different levels. Bullies sometimes hit, kick or push. They do lots of name calling, teasing, taunting or use other means to scare. A bully might grab another student's things, make fun of a victim, or exclude someone from a group game. Other bullies threaten people to get them to do things they don't want to do. Many kids avoid going into the restroom, onto the playground, or to their locker. Having bullies around can take the fun out of school.
There are many reasons why kids bully. Many come from homes where everyone is angry. They copy what they see and hear at home. Some have been bullied themselves. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others. Bullies usually pick on individuals they can exert power over and who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter or more skilled than they are, or who is different in some way. Sometimes they pick on a kid for no reason at all.
Bullying is many times tough to spot and deal with. Even the most diligent educators aren't able to stop it completely, especially when students are reluctant to report it. But that is all the more reason to develop effective policies that aid in detection and ensure appropriate consequences.
Nov. 20 through 24 is School Bully Week. It would be a good time to develop school assemblies or classroom discussions on the subject. There are probably community services that could provide a good speaker. Maybe kids could give testimonies of how bullying has affected them. Schools, parents, students and the community should work together to do all they can to ensure the safety of all students. No one needs to put up with a bully's behavior. Get an adult to help.
There are ways to get a bully to stop.