The Southwest Voice

Millions of us have had a baby. Big deal, right? It used to be if you got married, babies were the natural outcome, assuming health and eggs and sperm all matched and were at the right place at the right time. 

I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but since Hollywood discovered babies, marriage, sperm, eggs, health, right timing and even love are not the key ingredients. One of the key ingredients to having a baby is to act in a movie together. Admittedly, sometimes the “bump” is the result of love and marriage and that’s a good thing, but at other times it seems to be the result of acting in a movie or music video together. No matter what the circumstances of the creation of the baby, Hollywood seems to have the corner on pictures of the “bump.”

Hollywood couples sometimes toss current spouses into the heap of eligible singles, and make headlines because they have made a baby!  About 10 minutes after the baby is conceived, newspapers all over the world have announced it. The happy couple is shown beaming at the ecstatic mother’s “baby bump.” The “baby bump” is shown in photographs across the world. The expectant father is shown patting it, smiling at it, listening to it breathe and watching it kick.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I had my babies, the last thing I wanted stared at or photographed was my “baby bump.” I just wanted to sleep. And eat crackers. 

The dumped spouses are shown smiling and happy. “Hey, no problem.  So what if he/she dumped me for his/her co-star? We had a prenup. I get the house and jewelry and most of the investments! Irreconcilable differences have been looming for years. I am just happy he/she found someone who truly loves him/her. He/she deserves this happiness.” This is proclaimed on every possible daytime and late night talk show. 

You can read about the dumped spouse and the happy new couple in the headlines of dozens of magazine when you check out at the grocery store.  The dumped spouse is proclaiming the newfound freedom he/she is experiencing and the happy new couple is proclaiming what real love is!  Even mainline newspapers print stories about the phenomenon that has occurred (a baby bump has been created by a Hollywood couple). How this could be considered world news I do not know, but it is. Maybe news is slow these days. Or maybe the reporters are slow. 

Hollywood may think it “rules the world,” but if expectant parents in mainstream America have anything to say about it, it doesn’t. Any couple who has ever had a baby believes that theirs is the first baby ever born.  Taking a picture of the “baby bump” would be considered a very private event. And it would have to be worked in between naps and crackers!